No buts about it!

I know, you were expecting me to come back here and tell you the marvelous progress I made on all my projects. Ummm, that will have to be another entry. Martha, yes! I would love to do a challenge that you spoke of in your comment. I think I can get a few involved too (waving over to Diana, lol) So go to it girl, bring it on!

I was having big time problems trying to post an entry today. Maybe the blogger gods thought I shouldn't. Well I revamped a bunch of stuff and now things seem to be going ok. Let's see if the breaks show up between paragraphs! My biggest pet peeve! Anyway, I've been wanting to compose this entry for a while. It's things I read others say, things people say to me and random thoughts that inspire these entries! So here goes.

As you see up there on the graphic there are the words: Forgiveness without the but. My sister Carol told me a story about a friend of hers T(male). His mom taught him well. You see, whenever he got in trouble and came to his mom with "I'm sorry BUT..." She would turn him around and tell him to come back when he could say it (I'm sorry) without a BUT. We both agreed that Mrs F was one smart lady. Well, that got me thinking a lot! How many times had I said "I'm sorry, but.... I didn't mean it. Or perhaps some other qualification of why I had done whatever I had to have me saying sorry in the first place. Pretty heavy stuff! I wanna be sorry without a but. I COULD be sorry without a but. It's difficult at times and I'm learning.

So, here I am today to take the life's lesson Mrs. F instilled in T just a step further. How bout forgiveness without a but? "I forgive you, but i will never forget what you did to me" "I forgive myself, but I am sooooo angry" Hmmmm, I do believe that when we edit out that but and really mean it, we truly do have remorse or in this case forgiveness.

While reading the pages of some friends and even some strangers it's clear to me that many of us (present company included) are angry at ourselves, disappointed, frustrated and feeling pretty down about our choices when it comes to the dreaded "D" word. C'mon you know the one I mean. A word which we want to transform into the concept of "LIFESTYLE" or "JOURNEY" just to name a few. We're pissed off at our loss of control, our abandonment of our commitments and our failure to jump in and just do it. I know these feelings. I feel these feelings and although my mantra is "love yourself" how can we really and truly love ourselves when we can't forgive without a BUT?

I'm learning that in order for me to achieve the goals I have in place I have some "forgiving without the but" to do. I need to reprogram my brain and stop letting excuses or my reasons for not moving forward get in my way. I have to apply this not just in my weight loss journey but in all aspects of my life. I HAVE forgiven myself for the mistakes that lead me back to my original weight plus more after 10+ years of living without it. I can't dwell on those BUTS and leave the door open for more buts to creep in. I can't allow myself to stay in limbo and say, well I've re-lost OVER a hundred pounds but, I'm staying the same because my body's just adjusting. Now that might very well be true; yet, it's the BUT that will deter me from switching things up and changing them around to achieve my goals. Here's my all time favorite: "I've done it before but got sidetracked, I'll do it again" Ummm, that "but I got sidetracked" in my mind is just a big ole pile of excuses. Excuses that keep us from losing weight, from cleaning our closets or doing that something that just doesn't get done.

So right here and now, I'm forgiving ME without a but, without an excuse, a logical reason or an illogical one. I can't go back and change the things I've done to bring me to this place. I CAN change the things I do today, the choices I make and my attitude. I can forgive myself without justifying to myself the reasons why. I don't need to do anything more than just forgive. No, "buts" "ifs" "ands" "ors", I don't need them. I believe I am worth the time and effort it will take to bring myself where I need to be. Not get back to where I was before. Before was a different time and place and honestly I'm a lot different NOW.

It takes a lot of soul searching to give ourselves our very best. We are quick to give that part of us to others but when our turn comes there's always a "but" I'm tossing out the but today and learning to live with my choices in hopes that they're all part of who I am becoming. Just for today. Only today. Ahhhh, there, I do believe I came back, without the but! Now, I just gotta keep on moving forward, no buts about it!